Monday, March 14, 2005

Purim Torah

The following is NOT halachah. It is Purim Torah.

There is a story in Tractate Megilah page 7 side 2.
Rava and Rav Zairah had Purim seudah with each other. They got drunk. Rava slaughtered Rav Zairah. The next day, presumably after being sobered up, Rava resurrected Rav Zairah. The very next year, Rava asked Rav Zairah if he would like to have Purim seudah together again. Rav Zairahs response was: "Miracles don't happen every day".

Normally we infer from this story that drinking is very bad to do and not to do it ever, even on Purim. In the spirit of Purim, venahafoch hu, I would like to point out the opposite of this.

Rav Zairahs responce of: "Miracles don't happen every day" tells us that Rav Zaiarah is afraid he will get his head chopped off again. The only reason he should have this fear is if Rava is drinking again. Perhaps we can even say Rav Zairah was planning to drink again because he might have felt he would not be sober enough to stop Ravas slaughtering again.

So we see, according to the story- they got fashnikered. To emulate our Rabbis of old, we too should get smashlastered.

For the REAL halachah, please see the Mishna Brurah. Also, please decide to follow the Mishna Brurah like you do for every other Halacha. This one is no different.

Thursday, March 10, 2005

Bloated Advertising

It wont stop. Since this mornings drive in to work, I hear a woman's voice ringing in my ears. She is singing a phone number that can be heard on New York radio.

1-877-I'VE-GOT-GAS

Intelligent Energy is the New York division of Infinite Energy. They offer natural gas services.

So now all day, I hear in my head 1 877 I'VE GOT GAS and I will continue to have this in my head whether or not I actually DO have gas or not. Not that I mind. It makes me giggle. Especially since I'VE GOT GAS is coming from a NATURAL GAS company.

If this commercial came on right after the incident here then we would have a big problem....

Friday, March 04, 2005

Jewish Scientists- Please Explain

The facts:
SAO PAULO, Brazil (AP) - An elderly woman living in a small, wooden shack in rural southern Brazil could be the world's oldest living woman, according to a Brazilian record-keeping organization.

Maria Olivia da Silva, who recently celebrated her 125th birthday, "is definitely the oldest living woman in Brazil and possibly in the entire world," said Iolete Cadari, administrative director of RankBrasil, this country's equivalent to the Guinness World Records.

Da Silva's birth certificate shows that she was born Feb. 28, 1880 in the city of Itapetininga, Sao Paulo state, Cadari said by telephone.

The problem:
I was brought up believing that people can only live to be 120 years old. *throws yamulke on the floor* How can there be a 125 year old woman if all my rabbis told me that people can only live to 120?! *stomps on yamulke*


Can anyone make these mesh without getting chairem?

Thursday, March 03, 2005

Why I Am In Favor Of Invisible Cars

The Man is comming down on us.